THE TAO TE CHING - VERSE 9

This week I’m using Stephen Mitchell’s interpretation of the 9th Verse of the Tao Te Ching as the basis of my blog.

Fill your bowl to the brim and it will spill. Keep sharpening your knife and it will blunt. Chase after money and security and your heart will never unclench. Care about people’s approval and you will be their prisoner. Do your work, then step back. The only path to serenity.

I interpret this verse to mean that if I live in the Tao I know when to stop.  First of all if I am connected to Source I am satisfied no matter how much I have or don’t have.  But even if I’m an expert manifester...which I believe I am...if I stay tuned to my higher Source I know when enough is enough.  I know when to step back and enjoy the serenity of my manifestations.  This concept has always been true for me, whether it be eating, drinking, working, shopping, whatever it is that is going on with me, if I stay aware and connected at the time of the actions I know what is best for me.  A perfect example was last night as I was sitting on my lanai and decided to have a glass of one of my favorite liqueurs.  As I watched the lights and the water below me, I moved into an unintentional meditation, really feeling a strong sense of the Now and a magnificent connection to Source.  All of a sudden I realized I really didn’t want any more liquor, that enough was enough.  So I stopped drinking long before the glass was finished and felt satisfied with where I was at that moment. 

Byron Katie writes about this verse in terms of how “...nothing outside us can give us what we’re really looking for....everything comes and goes.”  I identified with those words because that’s exactly what is going on when I over eat or drink, or I push myself to make more money or buy more things, I’m looking for something outside of me to make me feel better.  Yet nothing outside of me will ever satisfy me nor can everything outside of me be used all at once.  And everything will be gone someday because it will either disintegrate or I’ll die and can’t take it with me. 

I’ve had cravings for food, like ice cream—or anything fried--that when I finally ate it, I realized it really wasn’t as good as my craving for it convinced me it would be.  That is why my most successful attempts to lose weight are always when I stay aware of what I’m eating and how hungry I am.  Then when I get a craving, I ask myself why I want this food, versus mindlessly eating whatever is in front of me.

I have learned over time that it is the ego that wants more and more, not the Tao that is inside me.  So this is a good lesson for me to utilize this week as I have houseguests arriving today, which means we’ll be eating out more, drinking more and imbibing treats I don’t normally eat.  If I stay in awareness and listen to what the Tao wants for me, I can still enjoy the meals, alcohol and treats but will also be aware of when enough is enough.

References:

Mitchell, Stephen (2009-10-13). Tao Te Ching (p. 6). Harper Collins, Inc.. Kindle Edition.

The Laozi (2009-10-04). The Tao Teh King, or the Tao and its Characteristics (Kindle Locations 29-30). Public Domain Books. Kindle Edition.

Mitchell, Stephen; Katie, Byron (2007-02-06). A Thousand Names for Joy: Living in Harmony with the Way Things Are (p. 13). Random House, Inc.. Kindle Edition.

Dyer, Wayne Dr. 1 Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life, Audio Version, (Disc 2)

The TAO TE CHING - VERSE 8

Stephen Mitchell's interpretation of the 8th verse of the Tao states, The supreme good is like water, which nourishes all things without trying to. It is content with the low places that people disdain. Thus it is like the Tao. In dwelling, live close to the ground. In thinking, keep to the simple. In conflict, be fair and generous. In governing, don’t try to control. In work, do what you enjoy. In family life, be completely present. When you are content to be simply yourself don’t compare or compete, everybody will respect you.

I resonate with this verse because I love water (the name traveling mermaid might give me away). I am more at home in, on, or around water than anywhere else on this planet. So using water as an analogy for the best way to live life makes perfect sense. I like to swim laps several times a week and when I do I find I can clear my head of all the muck my mind & more specifically my ego tries to get me to think about. So in that way, as in many others, water cleanses me. So how appropriate for me when Byron Katie while discussing this verse states, "When the mind is clear, life becomes very simple." A true statement by my book yet how hard it is to clear the mind.

So this week my plan is to let my life flow like water heading downstream. If I should meet any blocks as I flow along my way I shall take the path of least resistence just like water. Doesn't that sound peaceful?

I think I'll even imagine the sound of water as I flow through this week. I don't know anyone who thinks of a flowing stream and doesn't feel like sighing. Maybe I can illicit that same feeling from everyone I come in contact with this week also. What a wonderful service I would be providing everyone I meet if I could make them sigh. Wow, now I'm excited to see if flowing like water can help bring a feeling if peace to all.

Happy sailing everyone.

References:
Mitchell, Stephen (2009-10-13). Tao Te Ching (p. 6). Harper Collins, Inc.. Kindle Edition.

The Laozi (2009-10-04). The Tao Teh King, or the Tao and its Characteristics (Kindle Locations 29-30). Public Domain Books. Kindle Edition.

Mitchell, Stephen; Katie, Byron (2007-02-06). A Thousand Names for Joy: Living in Harmony with the Way Things Are (p. 13). Random House, Inc.. Kindle Edition.

Dyer, Wayne Dr. 1 Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life, Audio Version, (Disc 1)

THE TAO TE CHING - VERSE 7

The public domain book I found out on Kindle about the Tao interprets the 7th verse as:  Heaven is long-enduring and earth continues long. The reason why heaven and earth are able to endure and continue thus long is because they do not live of, or for, themselves. This is how they are able to continue and endure. 2. Therefore the sage puts his own person last, and yet it is found in the foremost place; he treats his person as if it were foreign to him, and yet that person is preserved. Is it not because he has no personal and private ends, that therefore such ends are realised?

Stephen Mitchell’s interpretation is similar.  The Tao is infinite, eternal. Why is it eternal? It was never born; thus it can never die. Why is it infinite? It has no desires for itself; thus it is present for all beings. The Master stays behind; that is why she is ahead. She is detached from all things; that is why she is one with them. Because she has let go of herself, she is perfectly fulfilled.

When reading through all the material on the 7th verse the idea that the Tao endures because it puts its own person last caused me a bit of heartburn at first, reminding me of the martyrdom ideas I had listened to as a child growing up in the Catholic religion.  But as I delved deeper I heard another word resonate with me as it did the first time I heard it at an Alanon meeting.  Detachment.

In Alanon, the support group created to help friends and families of alcoholics, they speak of the concept of detachment with love.  They teach the family members of alcoholics to let go of the responsibility for another person’s actions.  When someone grows up with or lives with an alcoholic he or she gets caught up in the notion that they can help the alcoholic get better.  Thus they blur the boundary between themselves and the other person and are constantly trying to change the exterior environment to keep the alcoholic from drinking again.  What I learned as a member of Alanon was how to love my alcoholic but not be responsible for him.  Then I became a counselor and realized this is not a phenomenon earmarked for just the alcoholic family.  So many people have been erroneously taught as children that they are responsible for everyone else’s happiness.   It’s a cultural concept of socialization to be nice and not make waves but in our society we seem to take it further to mean that we have to sacrifice our own happiness in order to help someone become happy.   Yet another truth I learned as a counselor is that I cannot “make” another person happy.  Only they can.  So if I spend all my time and energy trying to figure out what I must do in order to make someone feel better, I’m actually just spinning my wheels.  It was as I grasped the concept of each person having to choose their happiness for themselves that I began to grasp the concept of detachment, not just detachment from other people but from everything outside me.  For it is only by changing my own attitude about everything and everyone that I can truly be happy. 

This is what I believe the Tao is saying here.   In Byron Katie’s interpretation of this verse she wrote, “She is detached from all things in the sense that when they come, that’s what she wants, and when they go, that’s what she wants. It’s all fine with her. She is in love with it as it comes and goes.”  What an incredible concept this is.  Instead of me trying to figure out what I want, I just wait to see what comes and change my attitude to be grateful and happy for what is.  That is true detachment.  It reminds me of how Jesus kept saying he was not “of the world.”  That is what true detachment with love is all about.  In this time space reality we have learned to attach to people and things as if who we are is the most important thing in life.  Yet true happiness, at least for me, has come when I realized that nothing in this world is more important than my connection to Source, who is not “of this world.”  I know this sounds circular and yet in a way it’s not.  The truth for me is that when I step outside this illusion and remember that I am a spiritual being having a human experience then the only way to happiness is to live in the illusion yet be detached from the illusion.

So here is my quest for the week.  To step outside the illusion as much as my awareness allows me and remember that although I can enjoy everything and everyone in my life I don’t have to become defined by it, nor will I be destroyed if the possessions or the persons disappear tomorrow.  This task is much easier said than done.  But as with the Tao, if I can master just being a “witness to life,” I will endure.

Happy detachment everyone!

References:

Mitchell, Stephen (2009-10-13). Tao Te Ching. Harper Collins, Inc.. Kindle Edition.

The Laozi (2009-10-04). The Tao Teh King, or the Tao and its Characteristics. Public Domain Books. Kindle Edition.

Mitchell, Stephen; Katie, Byron (2007-02-06). A Thousand Names for Joy: Living in Harmony with the Way Things Are. Random House, Inc.. Kindle Edition.

Dyer, Wayne Dr. 1 Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life, Audio Version, (Disc 1)

THE TAO TE CHING - VERSE 6

“The spirit that never dies is called the mysterious feminine.  Although she becomes the whole universe, her immaculate purity is never lost.  Although she assumes countless forms, her true identity remains intact.  The gateway to the mysterious female is called the root of creation.  Listen to her voice, hear it echo through creation.  Without fail, she reveals her presence.  Without fail, she brings us to our own perfection.  Although it is invisible, it endures; it will never end.”

            This sixth verse for me is a reminder of the Divine Feminine which flows through all of us.  Through Her we are always “birthing,” whether we are conscious of it or not.  I’ve been sick the past few days with a cold, so I’ve been creating all kinds of yucky things in my body to try to kill the virus that has invaded me.  The yuckiness is working.  But beyond the snot in my nose, the Divine Feminine in partnership with me is always creating this uniqueness known as Sarah’s body.  Every second of every day new cells split and multiply and die off.  According to science, we create a new body every 7 years.  It is the Divine Feminine spoken in the Tao that allows us to co-create these new bodies.   And beyond the physical this Divine Spirit within is in constant creative mode.  And in the many, many years I have been alive I have created, with Her help, a uniqueness known as Sarah. 

            So just what is this uniqueness She and I have created?  Well, off the top of my head I would say Sarah is a free spirit, an outside-the-box thinker, an adventurer, a lover, and a giver (sounds like the beginning of a great song doesn’t it).  But what do all those characteristics really mean?  Up until a few years ago, before my husband died, I’d have said I was trying to create a unique me who others would look at and think, “Wow, she’s got her shit together.”  But when someone dies too soon it reminds us that life as we know it here in this body, on this earth, is short and if we spend all our time trying to look like we have “our shit together” as defined by someone else, we miss the best part of who we are and why we’re here.  That’s why for me, Gary’s death was a wakeup call, reminding me to reach beyond what I thought others would call “shit together” and create my own definition.  So I went in search of the real me, the unique girl/woman named Sarah Elizabeth Doyle, who was more than that tiny baby born the youngest of seven children to a couple named Louise and Jim Doyle in a small town in southern Indiana. 

            Now, 6.5 years after Gary’s death, the “real me” is what you see...most of the time.  Oh my ego still tries to get in my way by criticizing me for not being what she thinks I should be or what she thinks society wants me to be. Yet luckily the “true” me has grown stronger than my judgmental ego and is more often than not the co-creation you see projecting out into the world.  How do I stay true to the genuine article?  By forgiving myself every day for being human.  By meditating every morning to touch the Source who inspires my very being.  By reading spiritual books and hanging out with spiritual people who remind me to look beyond the illusions to what is important in this world.  By setting reminders throughout the day to come back into the moment so I can reach through the silence, beyond my emotions and thoughts, and touch the Spirit of Truth. 

            This Divine Feminine that Lao Tzu called the Tao allows me to be in touch with the uniqueness called Sarah.  It is through this Divine Feminine that I can daydream, imagine, create and be whoever my heart and soul want me to be.  She is the creative arm of Source, or God, or whatever you want to call the wholeness of creation.  She is the Divine Mother of all and I am forever grateful that She is the spirit inside of me.  For in each moment I can go inside and I will Her there “without fail.”

            So as Wayne Dyer says, “Do the Tao now.”  As I live each moment with fullness I tap into this Divine Feminine energy and co-create this uniqueness called me.  And I love who me is becoming.  Ain’t life grand!

References:

Mitchell, Stephen (2009-10-13). Tao Te Ching. Harper Collins, Inc.. Kindle Edition.

The Laozi (2009-10-04). The Tao Teh King, or the Tao and its Characteristics. Public Domain Books. Kindle Edition.

Mitchell, Stephen; Katie, Byron (2007-02-06). A Thousand Names for Joy: Living in Harmony with the Way Things Are. Random House, Inc.. Kindle Edition.

Dyer, Wayne Dr. 1 Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life, Audio Version, (Disc 1)

The TAO TE CHING - VERSE 5

Stephen Mitchell's interpretation of the Tao Te Ching: Tao doesn’t take sides; it gives birth to both good and evil. The Master doesn’t take sides; she welcomes both saints and sinners. The Tao is like a bellows: it is empty yet infinitely capable. The more you use it, the more it produces; the more you talk of it, the less you understand. Hold on to the center.

Lao-tsu: 5. 1. Heaven and earth do not act from (the impulse of) any wish to be benevolent; they deal with all things as the dogs of grass are dealt with. The sages do not act from (any wish to be) benevolent; they deal with the people as the dogs of grass are dealt with. 2. May not the space between heaven and earth be compared to a bellows?

Wayne Dyer's interpretation: Heaven and earth are impartial; they see the 10,000 things as straw dogs. The sage is not sentimental; he treats all his people as straw dogs. The sage is like heaven and earth: to him none are especially dear, nor is there anyone he disfavors. He gives and gives, without condition, offering his treasures to everyone. Between heaven and earth is a space like a bellows; empty and inexhaustible, the more it is used, the more it produces. Hold on to the center, Man was made to sit quietly and find the truth within.

Byron Katie's interpretation: The Tao doesn’t take sides; it gives birth to both good and evil.

This week I thought for sure I'd have some serious discussion about judgment and not taking sides, about unconditional love & how important it is to accept everyone as they are. Then I sat down on the airplane today with a very loud man behind me who was getting on my nerves. My internal critics were working overtime as he grew louder and louder. And to make matters worse I couldn't drown him out with music because the flight attendant had just told us to put all electronic devices away. Talk about some serious issue with judgment, I thought. Then I read this passage from Byron Katie's interpretation of the Tao, "The Master can't take sides. She's in love with reality and reality includes everything." All at once I realized this verse of the Tao, for me anyway, really had nothing to do with judging a person or an object or even a situation, it has to do with being present, in the moment, no matter what comes my way.

I get it!

Just letting things be, going with the flow, finding the vibrational match to the moment is about something far greater than letting go of the critic, it’s about finding joy in EVERYTHING…even the loud man behind me. Not because he is pleasant or unpleasant, or because I have to love everyone or everything, or even to show unconditional love, but because every moment in time is a precious gift from the Creator and will never come this way again. So after I read the verse from Byran Katie, I chuckled, looked out the window at the magnificent clouds passing beneath us and relished that specific moment, loud man and all, until I was able to pop my earbuds into my ears and relish Rimsky-Korsakov's Scheherazade.

So my goal for this week is to keep enjoying every moment in time, no matter what is happening in that moment, for there's only one unique moment like this coming our way and it's just too, too precious to intentionally miss. Thank you Source! 

See you next week.

References:

Mitchell, Stephen (2009-10-13). Tao Te Ching (p. 6). Harper Collins, Inc.. Kindle Edition.

The Laozi (2009-10-04). The Tao Teh King, or the Tao and its Characteristics (Kindle Locations 29-30). Public Domain Books. Kindle Edition.

Mitchell, Stephen; Katie, Byron (2007-02-06). A Thousand Names for Joy: Living in Harmony with the Way Things Are (p. 13). Random House, Inc.. Kindle Edition.

Dyer, Wayne Dr. 1 Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life, Audio Version, (Disc 1)

THE TAO TE CHING – VERSE 4

Stephen Mitchell’s interpretation of the Tao:  Tao is like a well: used but never used up. It is like the eternal void: filled with infinite possibilities. It is hidden but always present. I don’t know who gave birth to it. It is older than God. 

The next interpretation comes from a book called The Tao and its Character which is in public domain on The Kindle.  1. The Tao is (like) the emptiness of a vessel; and in our employment of it we must be on our guard against all fullness. How deep and unfathomable it is, as if it were the Honoured Ancestor of all things! 2. We should blunt our sharp points, and unravel the complications of things; we should attempt our brightness, and bring ourselves into agreement with the obscurity of others. How pure and still the Tao is, as if it would ever to continue! 3. I do not know whose son it is. It might appear to have been before God.

From Byron Katie’s interpretation comes:  It is like the eternal void: filled with infinite possibilities.

She states, “it is like a bottomless well: you can always draw from it, and it will always give you the water of life. Because it is completely open and sees that nothing is true, it is filled with more possibilities than we can ever imagine.”

Wayne Dyer’s interpretation:  The Tao is empty but inexhaustible, bottomless, the ancestor of all.  Within it, the sharp edges become smooth; the twisted knots loosen; the sun is softened by a cloud; the dust settles into place.  It is hidden but always present.  I do not know who gave birth to it.  It seems to be the common ancestor of all, the father of things.

Dr. Dyer wants us to live in the concept of infiniteness because the Tao is the source of all things and is infinite and that we should look at ourselves from the perspective that we also are infinite being living in a world of sharp edges and knots.  He advises us to tap into the bottomless Tao and find the energy we need to do whatever it is we want.  When we are struggling with problems we can tap into this bottomless and infinite Tao to find the answers.    And at all times we should strive to be in the infinity that is hidden.

I love, love, love this verse.  I have been trying for the last week to remember to ask the question “what should I do next?” instead of just knee-jerking my next actions out of habit.  Some moments I have remembered and some moments I have not.  Earlier in the week I was actually asking that question with everything I did.  From what do I eat, to which yoga poses will I practice, to what shall I work on now.  As the week progressed and I found myself in the weekend, I asked less and less because it was all about having fun and not thinking.  But I did find myself remembering to let go and relax in the moments which is always a plus for me. 

I can’t say that asking the question, “what should I do next?” made a profound difference in my life as I do not know whether, when I took one route home versus another I avoided an accident or not, or if I would have eaten any differently than I did. But I do know that I was more productive.  I’m working on getting organized after a year of being very disorganized and I’m working on finding receipts for some tax work I need to get done.  I’ve been putting these two actions off for weeks and after doing the Tao and asking “what next?” I have, as of today, found most of the receipts I need and I’ve cleared out a huge pile of papers that have been staring me in the face.  Plus I feel better, more calm.  Why?  Because I know that if I ask the question, “What next?” and I trust that this infinite bottomless Tao exists, then I’m always tapping into that higher perspective of infinite possibilities and I’m always moving in the best possible direction for me.

So my goal this week?  To continue my practice of asking the question, “What next?”  so that I can train my brain not to react out of habit but to actually tap into this bottomlessness that Lao Tzu called the Tao and “to be” in the Infiniteness at all times.  Happy tapping!

References: 

Mitchell, Stephen (2009-10-13). Tao Te Ching (p. 6). Harper Collins, Inc.. Kindle Edition.

The Laozi (2009-10-04). The Tao Teh King, or the Tao and its Characteristics (Kindle Locations 29-30). Public Domain Books. Kindle Edition.

Mitchell, Stephen; Katie, Byron (2007-02-06). A Thousand Names for Joy: Living in Harmony with the Way Things Are (p. 13). Random House, Inc.. Kindle Edition.

Dyer, Wayne Dr.  1 Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life, Audio Version, (Disc 1)

THE TAO TE CHING – VERSE 3

Wayne Dyer’s interpretation:  Putting a value on status will create contentiousness.  If you overvalue possessions, people begin to steal.  By not displaying what is desirable, you will cause the people’s hearts to remain undisturbed.  The sage governs by emptying minds and hearts, by weakening ambitions and strengthening bones.  Practice not doing....When action is pure and selfless, everything settles into its own perfect place.

According to Dr. Dyer this verse of the Tao is about living contentment instead of being led by the ego’s fixation on getting more.  Rather than seeking more, practice gratitude.  It’s also about not seeking to do but seeking to be.  This verse is about practicing not doing and then trusting that all will settle into a perfect place.  Some might say this is lazy but Lao-tzu was not talking about being slothful or inactive but about being guided by a higher principle and getting the ego out of the way.  Dr. Dyer asks us to allow what’s within to come forward. To remind ourselves daily that there is no way to happiness, rather happiness is the way.  We need to bring happiness to every encounter instead of thinking outer events will bring joy.  Stop pushing to get things done or obtain objects but feel gratitude and awe for what is right here in this moment.  Remember that the Tao took care of everything in our creations and first 9 months of life and that it will do the same today.  What we’re being asked is why not do the Tao in every situation? 

Stephen Mitchell’s interpretation:   If you over esteem great men, people become powerless. If you overvalue possessions, people begin to steal. The Master leads by emptying people’s minds and filling their cores, by weakening their ambition and toughening their resolve. He helps people lose everything they know, everything they desire, and creates confusion in those who think that they know. Practice not-doing, and everything will fall into place.

Byron Katie’s interpretation:  Practice not-doing, and everything will fall into place.

Ms. Katie suggests that the Master leads simply by being.  That if we allow reality to unfold it will bring with it more beauty, more luxury, more exquisite surprises than the imagination could ever devise.  So that if we allow life to flow like water, we in essence become that water, always giving us what we need.

What comes to mind for me in this third verse of the Tao Te Ching is an area I struggle with constantly.  Trusting in God.  Not just believing that God will provide but trusting God by letting go of the worries, fears and desires in my life and knowing that no matter what may come, all will be well.  Trusting that by listening to the “small still voice” inside of me I will be guided in everything I will ever what or need.  And I mean EVERYTHING.  Oh I’m pretty good at listening to my higher power when I’m feeling troubled.  I’ve learned over my many years here on earth that the best way for me to solve any of my problems is to listen to that “small still voice” for God always has a much higher view of what’s going on than I do.  I’ve even become pretty good at trusting in God when it comes to the big ticket items I desire in my life, like moving to a warmer climate and finding ways to make a living.  But what I’m not so good at is actually stopping to listen before I make any decision, like what to eat for dinner, or whether to buy something at the store or not, or whether to take a particular trip, or even what direction I should go when I’m driving somewhere.  Yet those are also situations where we can call upon our higher power to help us.  For at a higher perspective every action we take or every direction we head can become more enjoyable when we let go and let God.  So this is my goal for the week.  To not make any decisions until I pause and touch the sleeve of God to ask, “Which way is the best way?” and see what happens.  Join me; it should be a fun exercise to try.

Here’s a piece of bible trivia in case you are wondering where the saying “small still voice” come from.  It is in the bible verse 1 Kings 19:12.  And behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind tore into the mountains and broke the rocks in pieces before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake; and after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire; and after the fire a still small voice.

THE TAO TE CHING – VERSE 2

Wayne Dyer’s interpretation:  Under heaven all can see beauty as beauty, only because there is ugliness.  All can know good as good only because there is evil.  Being and nonbeing produce each other.  The difficult is born in the easy.  Long is defined by short, the high by the low.  Before and after go along with each other.  So the sage lives openly with apparent duality and paradoxical unity.  The sage can act without effort and teach without words.  Nurturing things without possessing them, he works, but not for rewards; he competes, but not for results.  When the work is done, it is forgotten.  That is why it lasts forever.

According to Dyer what Lao-Tzu is saying is that in order to be a sage one must live the paradox of unity.  Have you ever realized that in order to have beauty we must believe in something called ugly.  That without death we could not have life.  Yet the oneness in the Tao is about living with the apparent duality of everything.  In our humanness we have created these opposites which allow us to judge.  But if we look to the trees, the flowers and the animals, they know nothing of duality.  Unity is reality, life and death are identical.  He asks us to allow ourselves to hold those opposite thoughts without letting them cancel us out. We are both the Tao and the 10,000 things.  In other words we are both the Divine and human.  He asks us to turn within and sense the texture of misunderstanding instead of trying to be right or wrong. 

Stephen Mitchell’s interpretation:  People see some things as beautiful, other things become ugly. When people see some things as good, other things become bad. Being and non-being create each other. Difficult and easy support each other. Long and short define each other. High and low depend on each other. Before and after follow each other. Therefore the Master acts without doing anything and teaches without saying anything. Things arise and she lets them come; things disappear and she lets them go. She has but doesn’t possess, acts but doesn’t expect. When her work is done, she forgets it. That is why it lasts forever.

Byron Katie uses only the first line of the second verse:  When people see some things as good, other things become bad.  Her focus is on how no one has more or less goodness. No one who ever lived is a better or a worse human being than you. Beware of a mind that doesn’t question its judgments.

As part of my interpretation of this verse I decided to pay attention to my judgments this week.  I began my week in Denver where it was cold and snowy.Warm being good and cold being bad are part of my judgment system.  Now yes, I do prefer warm over cold but that does not mean that one is better than the other.  Snowing and clear are definitely opposites.  Last Wednesday morning as the weather turned to snow I was calling it bad in my head, then I reminded myself that if I see the negative I will call more negative to me.  So I thought of all the good benefits of snow.  Good moisture, pretty, good for the ski areas, thus Colorado’s economy.  Another judgment I made was that my commute to work that morning was bad because of the ice on the road and all the accidents and sliding I was witnessing.  Then I remembered that as I have the Divine inside me as well as the human, I called upon my guardian angels to protect me on my drive.  They did a splendid job.  And anytime I am forced to focus on the higher realm I know that I am living with my highest good in mind.  The enlightened masters let things happen without labeling them good or bad.  Wednesday morning was a good indication I am not quite at the enlightened master level…Yet J

As I continued throughout the week to listen to Wayne Dyer’s explanation of this second verse many thoughts came to mind.  The most relevant for me was this concept of duality which in turn creates, in the human mind, a need to judge.  And the person I judge the most is me.  So I told myself to “STOP IT”.  Easier said than done.  My head is filled with the “shoulds” and “should nots” I have learned since the day I was born.   They are all judgments.  Yet if I allow myself to do what is right for me in each moment I am more alive and aware of each experience.  So I allowed myself to exercise when I wanted not because I’m told I should in order to be healthy.  I ate what I wanted when I wanted not because I’m told what I eat is good or bad for me but because I like the taste of it. If I wanted to sit on my couch and watch TV all day then I allowed myself to do so.   After a few days what I noticed was how, when taking the judgment out of every action or non-action I actually accomplished more.  Yes sometimes I didn’t exercise and sometimes I ate popcorn and candy and drank an extra glass of wine, things considered unhealthy.  Some days I spent time in activities that have been judged as lazy or wasteful, other days I was quite productive.  Without judgment I found that in the long run I was balancing my time with a variety of actions and options.  I was less stressed and feeling peace and happiness.   

At a deeper level I realized that it is in our judgments that we create good and bad, right and wrong, should and should not.  And when we have judgment we have this need to make ourselves right and others wrong wanting others to live the way we think they should.  These judgments create the conditions for anger, violence and war.  If I drop the judgments and see the Divine in each human (and yes contrary to what many people think, every living soul is Divine) then I find I can transcend the judgment and unconditionally love. 

I can’t help but think of the words of Jesus Christ to sum up what I’ve learned this week in the Tao.  "Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you.”

THE TAO TE CHING – VERSE 1

Verse 1 as interpreted by Stephen Mitchell:

     The Tao that can be told is not the eternal Tao.  The name that can be named is not the eternal Name. 

     The unnamable is the eternally real.  Naming is the origin of all particular things.

     Free from desire, you realize the mystery.  Caught in desire, you see only the manifestations.

     Yet mystery and manifestations arise from the same source.  This source is called darkness.

     Darkness within darkness.  The gateway to all understanding.

     

      Byron Katie speaks only to the first two sentences.  She states, “Before you name anything, the world has not things in it, no meaning.  There’s nothing but peace in a wordless, questionless world.  It’s the space where everything is already answered, in joyful silence.”  In my interpretation I hear her say that we get in our way by naming/labeling everything.  Ms. Katie also says, “There’s nothing serious about life and death.”  To me that means we have taken the unnamable and given it a name, life and death.  Yet there is no life and no death if we don’t name it that.  Life and death is finite.  The unnamed is infinite.  I think I prefer that there is no life and death, just eternity.  I know when my husband, Gary died he wasn’t really dead, he was just no longer in physical human form.  The entity I knew as Gary continued on.  I believe that to the bottom of my soul.  I know he is still around just in another dimension.  That is why I believe in eternity.  That which can be named is not eternal.  All energy, in whatever form, is eternal.

Verse 1 as interpreted by Wayne Dyer:

    The Tao that can be told is not the eternal Tao.  The name that can be named is not the eternal name.

    The Tao is both named and nameless.  As nameless it is the origin of all things; as named it is the Mother of 10,000 things.

     Ever desireless, one can see the mystery; ever desiring, one sees only the manifestations.  And the mystery itself is the doorway to all understanding.

     In my audio version of Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life, Wayne Dyer states that paradoxical thinking is imbedded in eastern thinking; like Yin & Yang, this and that, good and bad. And in the same vein, desiring and desirelessness are two different things.  What the Tao is asking us to do is cultivate a practice of being in the mystery and allowing it to flow through us.  We must find our own personal way of living the Tao.  Dr. Dyer’s advice to us is to first just enjoy the mystery.  Let the world unfold without trying to figure it all out.  Don’t constantly try to figure others out, just allow them to be.  Then he goes on to ask us to let go of labeling everything.  Nothing in this Universe is what it is named.  The word water is not water and nothing can truly be described by words.  He asks us to bask in the magnificence of what is seen and sensed instead of just experiencing the word.  One exercise is to stop occasionally and ask ourselves where we are on the continuum of desiring and allowing, reminding ourselves that often desires are more about what we “think” should be not what really is.

                I’d like to say that I spent every day of this week thinking about this first verse of the Tao and what it is teaching me.  But the truth is, I had momentary flashes of awareness but most of my week was spent either experiencing my houseguests or catching up on things I had neglected while my houseguests were visiting.  But I did write a couple of observations in my journal and I will share them now. 

                “This verse reminds me of the Quantum Physics concept that a quark has infinite possibilities of where it might be but the minute you focus your attention on it, the quark changes.  Like manifestation.  Everything is in energy form until we focus our attention and our energy on it and then it begins to manifest.  My living in Florida in the winter was just a possibility until I focused my attention on it.  Then it became a reality.  The manifestation is only a piece or possibility of the eternal not the actual eternity of possibilities.”

                Later in the week I wrote, “I long to be the namelessness even though I have no idea what that means.  But some desire pulls at me to come to it.  I have named the nameless God, Creator, Source, and a Power greater than myself, but in naming it I have limited it.  What calls to me (deep in my physical heart and deep in my soul) is more than what we humans have tried to define.  Today I will try to look at everything I have named and see if I can look beyond the name.  Like later this afternoon when I go to the doctor.  Let’s see if I can look beyond the doctor and see the person and look beyond the person and see the nameless eternal.”

                Again, I would like to say that I spent the whole day looking beyond the labels.  At first I did.  I poured my coffee and thought of how the coffee was a combination of water and coffee beans and then progressed backwards to the coffee plant and the grower and the dirt and the air and the rain that helped produce the coffee bean in Africa (I was drinking decaf Sumatra).  I believe I was able to continue that thought with the eggs I ate and the soymilk I added to my coffee.  Then of course I got distracted and my awareness went out the window.  I never even made it to staying aware of the doctor.  I admit that I did see her more than just a doctor, mainly because she was about 20 years younger than me and the younger the professionals are the harder it is for me to see them as anything but youngster :)  But I did not stay in my awareness enough to even ask myself who she was outside of being my doctor other than remembering her comment that when she goes to the beach she goes to Sanibel Island not Fort Myers Beach.

                Today I felt pulled to what Wayne Dyer spoke about desire.  Desire is a paradox to me.  Most of my life I have been taught that desire is bad because I should be happy with what I have not constantly wanting more.  Yet in my metaphysical studies I have learned to look at desire with different eyes.  Since we co-create our reality our process isn’t about not desiring but desiring because it is what I want and what is best for me.  But sometime I need to acknowledge that I desire something because I’m afraid of not having it or I’m feeling miserable bout my present situation.   One of my current desires is to find a gentleman to share my life with.  Sometimes I know that I truly desire this because I want to get to know someone better and because I love the feeling of loving another human being in that close, intimate way.  But sometimes I have this desire because I am lonely or scared of what it will be like to be alone when I am too old to take care of myself.  Just as Dr. Dyer suggests, sometimes our desires come from what we “think” is right for us. Thus desire is not right or wrong it is more about what serves me well and what hinders me.

                The metaphysical beliefs I have learned sometimes confuse me because if I take these beliefs literally, I learn that if I don’t focus on what I desire I might get something I don’t want. Yet in reality, sometime I desire and sometimes I want to just see what is going to happen.   Spiritually I think this is the best course to take.  In my eclectic belief system I know that often I limit myself when I do not sit back, relax and enjoy the ride.  My Higher Power usually has a better view of what’s going on than I do in my limited perspective, so for me it is knowing about when to desire and when to be desireless. 

                I once heard that the word desire comes from the latin, de sire, which means from the father. Somehow this comforted me.  If I listen to "the Father" I know what my true desire is.  Then I went out to Etymonline and here’s what I found to be the origin of this word: Early 13th century from Old French, desirer, from Latin, desiderare, "long for, wish for" with the original sense meaning "await what the stars will bring," from the phrase de sidere "from the stars," which comes from sidris "heavenly body, star or constellation."

                So if I believe the Universe is made up of everything in the heavens (stars) and the earth one might believe the nameless to be the Universe.  In that interpretation then maybe desire does mean “from the Father.”  Whatever desire means, I do know that for me the best place to be is in the middle, balancing my desires with letting go and allowing myself to “go with the flow.”  Maybe if I let go and listen to the nameless I will hear the true desire of the Universe for me and then can flow into that desire effortlessly.

A NEW SPIRITUAL ADVENTURE IN A NEW YEAR

It has been several months since I have written anything in this blog.  Life sometimes gets in the way.  But now I'm back ready to start a new adventure...an adventure of the soul. 

A week ago, I began reading a book by Byron Katie and Stephen Mitchell titled A Thousand Names for Joy, in which Ms. Katie takes Stephen Mitchell’s English interpretation of the contents of the Tao Te Ching and speaks to them in her own words and her own experiences in order to help explain what she believes were the author’s intentions. The Tao Te Ching is a collection of verses written by Lao-tzu during the 5th century B.C. The title loosely translated means, The Book of the Way. It is theorized that Lao-tzu was the archive keeper in a small kingdom of what is now known as China. Whether this was his true profession or not cannot be verified over so many centuries, but no matter what his profession, what I know in my heart, is that he (or she) was an extremely wise person. Many believe (as do I) that The Tao Te Ching is one of the great wonders of the world.

After reading the first chapter of A Thousand Names for Joy, I sat and meditated on what I had read, which is my usual practice. In this particular meditation I was guided to begin a new spiritual practice in the New Year. I will read the Tao interpretation by Stephen Mitchell and listen to a recording I also possess of Wayne Dyer’s interpretation and explanation of the Tao and then read Byron Katie’s interpretation. I will study and meditate on one verse each week and will then write a blog each Monday (although in my flexibility I won’t hold myself to a strict schedule) in order to describe how each verse pertains to me. I am not writing this blog because I want others to read it. Those who do read it will come to it because they are curious or because their own spiritual guides have brought them here. Instead this is an exercise in spiritual growth for me; a way to channel my thoughts and actions throughout the week in order to help me change or not change, to make me think and analyze whether I agree or not with the Tao and to examine what I may be resisting and why, or what may resonate with me and why.  So on and so on, or as the King of Siam said in movie, The King & I, “etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.”

If by chance a reader feels so inclined, I would love for them to share their thoughts, comments, concerns, etcetera, with me as your agreement or dissention is a great way for me to expand my own perceptions of this illusion we call life. So today I will begin my reading of Verse 1 and start the meditation and growth process. I will see you next week as I expound upon my personal experience with the Tao. With excited anticipation I say to you, let the journey begin………….

A BUDDHIST RETREAT FROM A NON-BUDDHIST PERSPECTIVE - PART 3

     Today I continue my journal on my experience at the Thich Nhat Hanh retreat in Estes Park, CO in August.  I begin with my usual gratitude list.
     I am grateful for Thich Nhat Hanh, for a beautiful day in Colorado, for the sleep this a.m., for the nourishing food, for beautiful people.  For these and all my blessings thank you Creator.
     Today is day 2 of the retreat and I've gotten off to an interesting start.  First I had trouble getting to sleep last night but I didn't allow myself to be stressed.  Everything is always fine just the way it is.  Then my roommate woke me at 5:30 a.m. because we'd overslept.  Well there was no way I was going to be able to get dressed and be at the sitting meditation in fifteen minutes so I rolled over and went back to sleep.  1 hour later, I dressed and went to breakfast.  I thought I was doing pretty good on my mindfulness eating until the coffee overflowed my cup and I spilled it everywhere.  Ah such is life :)  But the day is improving.  I'm sitting out in the sun looking at beautiful Longs Peak.  Gorgeous!!!  If there is no God I wonder who dreamed up these mountains. 
     One of the things waking up late did for me is remind me that I'm a metaphysicist, a believer in New Thought, not a Buddhist.  I don't have to get up early...I'm pausing because the teens are on a walking meditation and have paused behind me to look at the magnificent mountains...An way, back to my new thought...I believe that life doesn't have to be hard if you just go with the flow.  I'm not a morning person so getting up at 5 a.m. is grueling for me.  But I CHOOSE to get up because I love the energy of being in a room full of like-minded people who are meditating.  But then, if the alarm doesn't go off, who am I to get upset because I didn't meditate in a room full of people.  I can meditate anytime.  Which I plan to do right now...Back in a few minutes....
     Now I am in the Assembly Hall.  Like me, many people came early to get a good seat.  Of course the only really good seats are right up front where you have to sit on pillows.  Not for me.  I'll come back to my writing soon since they have started the singing.
     Teachings of Thay:
      Every home should have a bell to ring occasionally and when the bell rings everyone should stop, cease talking and breathe in and out 3 times.  In the 21st century every home should have a meditation hall with a bell, cushions & a pot of flowers.  Call it The Breathing Room:  it is the territory of the Buddha.
      Pebble Meditation (the 4 pebbles): 
      Breathing In I see myself as a flower
      Breathing out I feel free
      Breathing In I see myself as a mountain
      Breathing out I feel solid
      Breathing in I see myself as water
      Breathing out I feel myself reflecting what is true, what is real
      Breathing in I see myself as space
      Breathing out I feel freedom
Thay took a drink and said "Yesterday it was a cloud, today it is my tea."
      Sidebar:  While I was eating I would set my fork or spoon on the tray and wait while I chewed.  Crazily at first my hand kept twitching as if it wanted to touch the fork.
       Back to the teachings:
       Meditators can see many things that others can not see:  They can see the seed of corn in the tall stalk of corn.  When you look at a child you can see their mother and their father: (I think of my new great-niece Jade - the newest addition to our family.  She contains so much of both Keely and Phil.)  Paradise is the weather inside the mother's womb.  You can be angry with your father and say you don't want to have anything to do with him but what you say is funny.  Your father is always inside of you.
        We carry all our ancestors inside us.  Genetics, minerals, vegetables and animal ancestors are all inside of us. - Buddha, Jesus - nothing can die, everything carries on in different forms.
         Walking meditations with peace, joy, mindfulnesss and insight can heal Mother Earth.  Take only one step and say "I have arrived."  Let go of the past, let go of the future and if you have not arrived don't take another step.  THE MIRACLE IS TO WALK ON EARTH.
          (In my estimation Thay is healing the divide between Buddhism and Christianity by living in the here and now.  He does not shy away from talking about Jesus's teachings.  HOORAY!)
           Breath in - I have arrived, arrived
           Breath out - I am home, home, home
           This means that in the present moment I am in the Kingdom of God, I am in the Buddha land.
           Suffering is necessary but too much/overdosing is not good.  If you are a psychotherapist you should not just allow your client to talk only about the suffering but to express what is positive in them too. 
          PRACTICING MINDFULNESS:
          1. Breath In
          2. Breath Out
          3.  Recognize the body
          4. Release tension in the body - our body is like the tree; in the time of storm (or strong emotions) we must bring attention down below the navel (the trunk) and breath deep into the trunk.  When we feel the storm coming we might want to lie down or sit and put our fingers on our abdomen and concentrate on our breathing - in & out.  The area of our being is large and the emotion is very small - just one part of who we are.  It is good to learn the practice of deep breathing before the emotions or storm arise.
         5. Touch the sorrow inside you
         6.  Bring yourself to joy and happiness
         7.  Recognize the power fulling
         8.  Embrace the painfulness with the image of mindfulness - if you are new to mindfulness practice and can not yet touch the pain, you can sit in your Sangha and they will provide you with the healing energy needed to touch your pain.  Every practitioner should learn to take refuge in their Sangha and receive nourishment. (To me my close friends support me like a sangha).  Collecting energy from a sangha allows people to embrace their pain and sorrows. 
          9.  Become aware of what happens in our mind - the mental formation - a flower is a formation of many non flower elements.  Anger and fear are mental formations.  There are 51 categories of mental formations, both negative and positive.  They sit inside us like seeds.  The totality of the seeds are all within us and we can turn to any one of the 51 channels inside of us.  When the seed is watered it grows into the mind consciousness and becomes a mental formation.  Our mind (consciousness) is a river of mental formations and mindfulness is the practice of sitting on the river bank and observing the mental formations as they form and go.
          10.  To energize our mind - to make the landscape of our mind more beautiful.  Taking the positive formations and decorating our consciousness with these seeds then grow them.
               Practice of Right Diligence - 4 aspects
                     1.  Don't touch the seeds of negativity - we have the seeds inside of us but don't water them.  Many television shows can water the negative seeds such as anger, fear, despair, jealousy.
                     2.  If a negative seed grows send it home - you can do this by bringing another positive seed up (change the channel - invite something good to come in).
                     3.  Bring the positive seeds up.  Do things to help nurture and grow the positive seeds so they become good mental formations, so that the mind is filled with beautiful formations (coming to this retreat, meditating daily, yoga, prayer, mindfulness) water only the flowers not the weeds that strangle the flowers.
                    4.  Once the good seed has manifested into a mental formation try to keep it in the consciousness as long as possible - Practice of the transformation at the base (my thoughts:  strengthening the neuronetworks for the positive - learned happiness)
        11.  Concentrating the mind
        12.  Liberating the mind

     Now I head to the walking meditation.  My plan is to walk at the back of the group today instead of the front to experience another view.  I just realized how hungry I am.  Portion control was part of my breakfast.  It has already taken hold of my body.  Maybe I'll increase my portion tomorrow morning.
     Many experiences came to me at the back of the bus.  First I really wasn't in any hurry whatsoever.  I really got into the motion of the walking.  Breathing In "I have arrived."  Breathing out "I am home." 
     The weather is spectacular and the clouds are so low you can almost touch them.  Of course, I am up at 8000 feet so that might have something to do with why the seem so close...they are.  At the back of the group I could see the magnitude of the 900 people practicing mindfulness walking.
     When we arrived at the clearing where Thay stopped I never saw him, but I saw the trees and the mountains and the flowers and the sage and the people watching Thay.  Here's a big lesson I learned today:  Breathing In and out and being aware of your steps doesn't mean you are in the NOW.  I was watching a guy really take in a tree and in that instant I was transported to my cabin and all the wonderful walks I have taken there, so many of them in mindfulness.  Then I became aware of my suffering (sorrow at the selling of the cabin, sorrow at my dog's death, my husband's death, the complete change in my whole past life).   I was no longer in the NOW.  I was definitely in the past.  Then I remembered Thay's teachings to breathe and to embrace the sorrow and I became aware that I have the choice of being in the past or having that same cabin experience right now in the present.  So I breathed in and changed my perspective to the present, which reminded me (through insight) that I have these wonderful joyful memories of those times at the cabin and that I can in the future (Source willing) have many more beautiful mountain cabin experiences to come...just not the same cabin.  Yea!  I am definitely learning something (smile).  Now it is time to eat!!!
     I am at a meeting on touching mindfulness in our spiritual ancestors.  Thay states that he did not come to the west to convert everyone to Buddhism.  He came for us to learn mindfulness in our current spiritual practice.  Our spiritual traditions bring us a depth of our humanness and the potential for our own breakthroughs. One of the speakers talked of Theresa of Avila and the mystical traditions of Catholicism and how they have shaped our lives.  Evidence is coming out that contemplative practices evolve our neurological evolution. (Sidebar:  I thank my mother for having her own form of contemplativeness for she taught me to see the mystical in everything and to pray to the God within me.  I have to remember to forgive the humanness of religions because they are only as divine as humans are divine and since no human is perfect....enough said. (This concept was something my sister taught me.  Thanks Anne!).  Spirituality isn't about belief it's about PRACTICE.  What you embody in your every day life.  Spirituality is NOT ABOUT DOGMA. 
    The day has been nonstop and I still find myself thinking about Mindfulness practice.  Not about the practices of Buddha but the practices taught by Thay, which encompass not only the Buddhist traditions but all traditions that encourage meditation and mindfulness.  The encouraging thing to me about being at this retreat is the number of men here.  It warms my heart to know that there are men out there who have a spiritual practice who don't necessarily have to be recovering alcoholics. 
     I just picked up a flyer for this same type of retreat being held in Ireland in April 2012.  I may just have to think about attending.
    I am sitting in the meditation hall waiting for the talk on the 5 mindfulness trainings.  My head is full and I'm not sure what more I can put into it.  (I left early because to me so much of the Buddhist trainings are focused on "suffering" and I prefer to focus on the positive "goodness" in life.  I believe there is no good and no bad, everything is what it is.  Humanity puts the judgment on everything.    Besides I'm not planning to give up meat and alcohol anytime soon and  I no longer want to "give up" anything.  For me I will use the Buddhist teachings to enrich my metaphysical beliefs not the other way around.)
    I applaud the people who have changed their lives through the Buddhist beliefs and I will use the meditation practices and leave the rest.  See my aversion to the Buddhist religion (though Buddhists tell me they aren't a religion but a practice) goes back to my aversion to anything overly organized. 
     It's been a great day and I've enjoyed all that I've learned and I'm ready for sleep and tomorrows adventures.  Nighty Night!



       

A BUDDHIST RETREAT FROM A NON-BUDDHIST PERSPECTIVE

     Today's blog is a continuation of my experience at the Thich Nhat Hanh retreat at the YMCA camp in Estes Park, CO from August 19th - 24th, 2011.  The following is from Saturday, August 20th, Day 2 of the incredible retreat as I wrote about my experiences in my personal journal.  At the start of all my journal entries I write 5 items that make me grateful.  So I will begin with my gratitude list that day. 
     I am grateful for a wonderful night's sleep, for a new friendship, for the clear, awesome mountain air, for all these peaceful people, for love in my heart.  For these and all my spectacular bounty I thank you Creator. 
     I had a wonderful night's sleep, early morning rise and meditation, then yoga.  Now I head to breakfast and "COFFEE."  I'm not used to this early morning stuff but hey, it's good for me.  Without my Internet I didn't stay up so late so I received plenty of sleep.
     It's interesting how I get this sense of Catholicism in the Zen practice.  I wonder if this is how the early Christians practiced and the dogma just slowly got out of hand with the church's power and greed.  I have to admit I'm not overly fond of the ceremony side of all this but then I've never been a big "ceremony" type person.  I didn't even go to my 3 college graduations because I dislike ceremony.  I must admit that I do love the silence though.  I'm off now to mindfully eat.  More later.
      Here's a mind dump from Thay's talk.  No being and being - Suffering & Happiness - Father, Son & Holy Spirit is the same as Buddha, Dharma, & Sangha, and the same as Body, Mind, & Environment.  Here's an exercise Thay stepped us through:  Breath In - Breath Out, Follow Your breath In & Out, Be mindful of your body while breathing in and out, Touch the sorrow inside you, Bring yourself to Joy, Bring yourself to Happiness.  (I'm missing one step: oh well, I'll get it later).
      Observations during walking meditation with Thay.  I wished that my husband, Gary, were there with me.  I felt the sadness that he was not here.  I felt the gratitude to him for if I had not met and married him I would probably not be at a Buddhist retreat.  Not that he was Buddhist but he did open my perspective to eastern spirituality.  I loved being in the middle of a group of people who are mindfully walking.  The nonconformist in me had to step outside the crowd for awhile and follow my own path.  Following Thay felt uncomfortable from this recovering Catholic.  I don't follow any One person as I am eclectic in my spiritual pursuits.  There are lots of people taking pictures.  I have to wonder:  If Jesus were alive today would lots of people be taking his picture? 
      When Thay stopped, sat on the ground and mindfully meditated with the children I got the sense of what it must have felt like when all the people came to listen to Jesus.  Thay certainly has touched the Buddha (Christ Spirit) within him.  After the thought crossed my mind I became uncomfortable because he is a human like ALL the rest of us.  He's just better practiced at touching the Universal Spirit inside him.  I watched how the other monks & nuns protect Thay and it reminded me of what I have read about the disciples protecting Jesus.  Those humans who have touched the Christ/Buddha Spirit so deeply are vulnerable to those who would take advantage of them. 
      I am sitting in a wonderful moment as I watch this extremely fat chipmunk on the patio below my room's balcony.  I hope it doesn't starve this winter when the tourists are gone because obviously it has become a junk food junky.  Oh wait, there are tourists here all year round.  That's good news for that very fat chipmunk. 
      I am off to mindfully eat lunch in silence, then I will go make joyful music to the Lord, or Source in my vocabulary.  Tonight I want to write about the belief concepts concerning non being and well being.  It intrigues me and I want to consider it further.  Dying and Birth two sides of the same coin.  Oops the chipmunk is back.  Starving and Fat - Hungry and Full.  The flower is made up of non-flower parts.  I am made up of nonhuman parts.  The mind boggles and all is well.  (The mindfulness bell on my phone just rang.  Before the retreat I would have stopped for a moment and thought about the moment.  Now today (Sept. 2nd) I stop and breath in and breath out 3 times, following my breath all the way through:  Now back to the journal entry).
      This afternoon I attended a touch the earth meditation with Sister Chan Khong.  Here are my notes, taken before the meditation actually began.  Be still and Know, Be Sumatra and see clearly.  Qualities of Touching the Earth meditation:  Understanding deeply - remember that people are the fruit of their environment.  Great Compassion - looking and feeling and seeing beyond the unkindness.  Love Greatly - The earth can absorb greatly all that we give it.  Treasures of the Earth
      How to Transform the fear of death.  Use the 3 ancestors:  Blood ancestors, Environmental ancestors, Spiritual ancestors. (The meditation was powerful.  With each ancestor group we meditated on them, then touched the earth to get rid of any emotional baggage from them.)
      I am exhausted.  I took my bathing suit with me thinking I would swim but then I participated in the deep relaxation and touch the earth meditations I came close to falling asleep.  I realized then that I did not want to exhaust myself with swimming.  Maybe I'll try tomorrow.  MAYBE is the operative word. 
      It is a gorgeous day and I feel very refreshed, yet exhausted so I'm just going to enjoy the rest of the evening in whatever way I can and come back to the room and crash.  I went to the music group after lunch and enjoyed singing.  I played my native flute when they were playing in the key of C.  If I had known about the music sessions I would have brought one of my drums.  Tomorrow I will possibly lead a song with my flute.  We'll see.  I know me, I play something different every time I play the flute. 
     It is time for dinner.  A few minutes ago I wasn't hungry yet now I am.  I'm not overly fond of being vegan, but what the hey, it's only for a few days.  Let's see what dinner has to offer. 
     Now dinner is over.  I didn't mind the tofu fajitas and I loved the guacamole.  As I was walking around I was feeling very lonely and I started to go with the pity party of why I don't have someone in my life, why I don't allow people to touch me deeply.  But that is such an untrue statement, it almost makes me gag. (smiley face).  I have some wonderfully dear friends who I have opened up to and bore my soul with, especially when it came to Gary's death.  So how I could say that I don't open up to others is ridiculous.  As I walk and am mindful I'm thrilled to realize that I don't have to fall for that drivel in my head. 
     I like how I've gotten so caught up in this wonderful Buddhist retreat that I want to buy a meditation pillow.  NOT!  I do not want to convert to Buddhism.  I like being a Unitic/Metaphysicist/believer in the Universal One.  That does not mean I don't believe in the Buddha Spirit, I do...as much as I believe in the Christ Spirit.  I think where I am is just perfect for where I am.  I love how I get so passionately wrapped up in whatever it is I am experiencing.  I do know though, that I will probably never eat the same again, yet I have a long way to go to eat mindfully like some of the people I have watched here.  More on that later...
     While I wait for my so called Dharma group to arrive I will talk a little more about the eating.  Portion control, that is one of the major things I'm learning and one of the major issues in my life.  I ate three square meals today.  No meat and no cheese and yet I am stuffed.  Crazy stuffed.  One reason I'm stuffed is because I am bloated by all the veggies and beans.  But the other reason is because I was thinking that I would have to eat more in order to stay full.  WRONG!!
      Well I just went to my Dharma discussion a half hour early and was sitting there wondering why no one was showing up.  Oh well, it's a beautiful evening to sit at the picnic table and write.  So back to the food discussion: My portion size is the mindfulness I want to work on.  By this evening's meal I ate much less than I would have 2 days ago.  Mind you I'm still not overly fond of all the vegan stuff but it definitely is filling.  (Right at this moment I have pine sap on my arm because the picnic table where I'm sitting has pine sap on it.  My first thought was that it was marshmallow left over by some previous campers....until I smelled it.  I guess I have food on my brain.) 
      So back into Mindfulness.  The air has grown chilly.  I'll have to put my jacket on soon.  My Dharma Group is in the Arkansas Room and it is for people from Florida, Georgia, North Carolina and South Carolina.  I don't remember signing up for the geographic group....although I sort of remember.
     There are some serious Buddhists here.  To bad I'm not a Buddhist or I'd join a Sangha.  Maybe I will anyway so I can meet some like-minded people.  I don't have to become Buddhist to practice Zen meditation.  More about that later. 
     It is interesting that I made the above comment as the entire discussion in the Dharma discussion group had to do with the comments Thay made about the Kingdom of God, which was confusing to those who practice Buddhism.  Yet it was very exciting for me to hear the parallelism of Jesus and Buddha's teachings'.  I still believe that during those unrecorded years of Jesus's life he may have visited the wise men from the east and picked up some of the eastern spiritualism. 
     This has been a very exciting day and I'm looking forward to more tomorrow.  Oh yeah, in my Dharma group there is a lady from Fort Myers who belongs to a Mindfulness Group in Naples.  I'm going to definitely talk to her about it tomorrow.  Thank you Source for this magnificent day of love and peace and sharing.  I look with joy and happiness to more of the same tomorrow.  Thank you for bringing Thich Nhat Hanh into my life.  He is truly A MASTER!  AHO!

A BUDDHIST RETREAT FROM A NON-BUDDHIST PERSPECTIVE

     I spent the last 5 days in the Rocky Mountains at the YMCA camp in Estes Park, CO.  I was attending a Mindfullness Retreat presented by the buddhist monasteries of Thich Nhat Hahn.  It was an incredible experience for me and I would like to share all of it with you. I wrote nonstop in my journal those 5 days and I will regurgitate each day's information in a journal entry every week over the next several weeks so that I can savor the information for awhile.  In this blog I will present the teachings of Thay (as his monks and nuns call him) from my perspective (since it's the only one I have first hand) then I'll give you my own commentary of what is going on, mostly based from my own beliefs as a non-buddhist.  I think Buddhism is an incredible practice and I am going to "steal shamelessly" from it.  But I also do not have a great understanding of it and since this retreat was my second exposure to Buddhism (my first being to sit with a Zen Buddhist groups for a couple of months), please take anything I say as it is meant to be...my experience as a non-buddhist having a buddhist experience.  So let's begin.
   August 19, 2011:    I am up at the Rocky Mountain YMCA in Estes Park @ the Thich Nhat Hahn retreat.  I was feeling that I wasn't going to be able to decompress and not use all my electronic equipment but now that I'm here I think maybe I can.  I want to take advantage of this wonderful place, these incredibly spiritual people and the peacefulness that's in my heart.  The setting here in Estes Park is incredible.  I can see Longs Peak from everywhere, even my room.  I'm sharing a room with a friend I met while working for the military in El Paso last summer.  I don't know her well but she seems very nice and I believe we will both honor the space needed to be here these next few days.  I want to dig deep into my soul and feel the presence of the Universe inside of me for the whole 5 days. 
     There are 2 elk on the hillside having their dinner.  Thank you God for this spectacular view.  There's a wagon (horse drawn) heading down the road.  Actually the closer the animals get the more I'm not sure if they are elk or deer.  It doesn't really matter, they sure are beautiful.  Thank you Source for an incredible life.  I am so truly blessed.  The most important thing for me right now is to stay mindful and enjoy the moments of these next 5 days and absorb the energy of this spectacular event.  Life is almost too good for words.  I love living in peace and harmony and love and want to have love in my heart forever and ever.  Amen.  Aho.  Thank You Jesus. 
      Dinner is in silence and while we eat we are asked to think mindfully of every bite we take.  We will continue silence after the talk this evening until after lunch tomorrow.  They call it Noble Silence.  I like that (smile).
     Tonights opening orientation was very interesting and beautiful. Thay(TI) as they call Thich Nhat Hahn is a very gentle, quiet man,  His message was about the 3 energies we need to work with in order to find the kingdom of heaven within.  Mindfulness , concentration & insight.  These, he says, are the Holy Spirit.  I resonated with that and I will spend time over the next few days as I'm here at the retreat thinking about these 3 energies.  The mindfullness I understand, the concentration for me will probably take a little more practice especially if I'm getting bored.  The insight I would think comes from the mindfullness and the concentration.  All is well in this awesome world of mindfullness. 
     Sangha is a new word.  It means the group (like a church) or this group of people at this retreat.  Too Cool!  I'm learning all kinds of cool things about Buddhism.  Yea!  Something new. 
     My ego did want to judge and was getting uncomfortable with all the monks and nuns and wanted to think, "shoot this is just like Catholicism" and in a way it is.  But it doesn't matter what it is or isn't, it is deeply spiritual and as they say in alanon "take what you like and leave the rest."  Right now what I take is the peace and the mindfulness.  All is awesome.  Aho!

Took My Breath Away

I know I haven't set foot on this terrain in awhile.  But today, from a newsletter I receive on honing my writing skill I was asked to write about something that took my breath away.  I thought I would share it with you.  Hope you enjoy.

Like bullets they shot through the waves, their only purpose...to have fun. Water churned beneath the hulls of the boat, tickling the creatures' undersides. They responded with a dance that crisscrossed the wakes as their sleek torso's sliced through the ocean in rhythm with the wind. After hours enduring the hard surface of the catamaran, hiding in the shadows of the main sail—the only protection from the long day's cruelty upon my skin—the gods had rewarded me. The pain no longer mattered. Nothing mattered. They had arrived. Those mythical mermaids who generously begged to share their playground with us mere mortals. When the leader floated sideways below me, his eye staring up in gleeful wonder as if to say, "Please play with me," silent tears touched my cheeks. The tears flowed for the years of imagining this moment, for the days of searching the open seas, hoping and praying for a sighting that did not come, for the realization that somewhere deep in my soul I was connected to these magnificent prehistoric beings. Long and sleek, glistening in the afternoon sun like tandem sails flapping above the crystal waters of their home, the dolphins were upon us. And in the innocence of that moment they took my breath away.

SAINT VALENTINE'S DAY: A WONDERFUL WORK OF FICTION

Did you know there are no historical facts to link Saint Valentine to romantic love, especially on February 14th? If one is to step down the path backwards to find where this love holiday originated one would find that the three Saint Valentines that are linked to the February 14th date were martyrs and had no significant behavior that would also link them to the hearts, flowers and cupids we see today. 

There have been several fantastic legends which may have started all this hullabaloo.  One such is where a Valentine (and it's not sure which one) defied the Roman emperor and performed marriage ceremonies even though it had been decreed in the law that young men could not be married because they were needed on the battlefield.  Then there is a legend that one of the Valentines, on the night before his execution, wrote a love letter to a young girl.  None of these legends have any basis in historical facts.  They are pure works of fiction.  And the best known link to the present day Valentine Day is another work of fiction.  Chaucer's 14th century work of fiction titled, Parlement of Foules,  is a poem written in honor of the first anniversary of the engagement of King Richard II of England and Anne of Bohemia where the great poet wrote:

For this was on seynt Volantynys day

Whan euery bryd comyth there to chese his make.

Translated to modern English this means: "For this was Saint Valentine's Day, when every bird cometh there to choose his mate."

Oddly enough the belief among historians is that the Saint Valentine's Day Chaucer referred to was actually on May 2nd, the saint's day of another bishop named Valentine orinigally of Genoa.

Fiction, fiction, how powerful is fiction.  As seen here in this highly celebrated holiday, writing fiction can create new worlds.  It can change the world (just listen to every politician).  And it can destroy old worlds (as did Hitler in his fiction about saving the Aryan race).

Why am I writing about fiction?  Because I love fiction.  I've been creating fiction my entire life.  From the imaginary friend my mother said I used to talk to out on the swing in the backyard, to the pretend family I used to imagine I belonged to, complete with a multimillionaire father and fifteen brothers and sisters, to my more recent dabbles with creating the great American novel, my life has been steeped with fiction.  So today I not only celebrate a day of love, filled with cupids, hearts, candy, flowers and romantic dinners but also as one of the birthdates of fiction. 

Happy Saint Valentine's Day to you all!