DOUSING THE FIRES OF ANGER

    Yesterday morning I read my inspirational message, recited my affirmations, did 25 minutes of yoga and came up from the basement feeling refreshed and peaceful. Then I listened to a message on my cell phone. Out the window went my peace and into the door stomped anger. I won't go into the details of the message only to say that I felt used and pushed around and discounted by a friend. Without pausing I called back, left an angry message, then fumed and ranted to myself for several minutes before taking the dog for a long walk to try to regain my peace.

    It was a beautiful day but I never saw it. I missed the babbling creek, the budding trees, and the Flickers calling for their mates. I missed springtime in the Rockies. I was fuming. Someone had done me wrong! My mind kept regurgitating how I was right and the other person had injured me. I was lost in my anger. Before long my fury had taken on a life of its own. It didn't care that I had meditated or practiced yoga minutes before. It invaded my entire body causing my heart to ache, my pressure to rise, my muscles to tense. It didn't care about anything except that it was right and my friend was wrong.

    I ignored the dog as I stomped across the field with my mind crying, "I'm right about this!" Then the word "right" triggered a memory. It was a Wayne Dyer talk I often listen too as part of my morning inspiration. In it he asks the question, "Is it more important to be right or more important to be at peace?" The memory doused the fire of my anger immediately and I began to laugh. Once the flames were extinguished I could answer his question with honesty. Peace is the most important quality in my life.

    I immediately phoned my friend and told her I was sorry for my angry message. As we talked I realized it was all a misunderstanding. My anger had masked the obvious and as my thoughts continued to fuel the rage, it took on a life of its own. Then I realized another truth, my feelings are very exposed right now, due to the enormous amount of change occurring in my life. I have been stockpiling my feelings for several days and not allowing them to dissipate naturally. Thus the message on my cell phone became the match that ignited the fire. This whole incident was a reminder to me that my inspirational messages and meditation practices may not cure me of my anger, but they will help me keep it to the size of a small bonfire instead of letting it become a towering inferno.