I'LL KEEP TALKING TO THE ANIMALS

    Often I think that living alone makes me focus too much on myself. Oh I have my dog and kitties and since I want to be responsible for them I remember to feed, walk and pet them daily. Actually I also talk to them because they are great listeners. But without a significant other, or a roommate or children to live with, I often think I get too caught up in my own "stuff" and have to remind myself that the world does not revolve around me. But is that true? On closer examination I realize I may be buying into a belief that isn't reality, for if the truth be told my world does revolve around me, just as every other person's world revolves around them.

    Everyone chooses their path based on an effort to satisfy their needs. Someone may choose to live with others because their need to belong is greater than mine, or they may choose to focus on others because they are listening too closely to what society says their need should be and aren't listening to their own truths about what needs are important to them. If it is the former, they are satisfied with their life because their need to belong has been met. If it is the latter, they will continue to feel dissatisfied trying to fulfill a need that isn't their own. Whichever the case, their life still revolves around themselves, for every behavior is a result of trying to satisfy a need for security, belonging, acceptance, achievement, enjoyment or freedom. Therefore, the only difference between those who are living with others and those, like me, who live alone or with pets, is that our basic needs are different. Although I didn't choose for my husband to die four years ago, I did choose to continue to live alone after it happened because I've never been one who needed to belong just for the sake of belonging. If I had really wanted to live with someone when I found myself alone, I would have already gotten married again, or advertised for a roommate, or opened my home to someone in need. But I choose not to because this is not the need I want to satisfy right now. Freedom seems to be my number one need these days. I wonder what yours is? Someday, when I find someone whom I deeply love and trust I will consider cohabitating again, if the priority of my need to belong shifts. Yet even then my life will revolve around me. Until then, I'll just keep talking to the animals.