Yesterday I reviewed the first 18 years of my life. Today the saga continues through age 36. The highlights of those years?
Moved to Florida and started college at 18, dropped out at 20 (I was lost)
Moved to Portland, OR, went back to school (I was lost)
Both my parents died within 5 days of each other at age 22 (I was really lost)
Joined the army at age 23, moved to Germany, left the army at age 26 and moved to Houston (still lost)
Started working for Texaco in Human Resources (still lost)
Returned to school and FINALLY got my degree after going to 5 college (still lost but getting better)
Bought my first house at age 31 (sort of lost)
Found my spiritual path by age 32(budding)
Met my prince at age 33, married him at age 35 (budding)
Continued to work for Texaco, climbing the corporate ladder (starting to blossom)
Moved to Denver at age 36 (blossoming)
Today, as I explore the signposts of my life I see that during these middle years my main focus was on growing outwardly, into the external world. My path was the American dream. College degree, career, house, marriage. Yet internally I was emotionally lost. I had an inkling of the girl inside but didn't know how to let her out. I was too busy judging her and what others might think of her to see how precious she was. I spent so much time and energy running from her because she was "different" from the status quo and in my mind being "different" was bad. But alas, that "girl" wouldn't stay silent for long and poked her head out once in awhile to say, "Here I am world." Then the imposter, the person I thought I should be, stuffed her back into the closets until the next time she escaped. Finally, by the time I was 32, my faith in a Higher Power began to blossom, opening me to the world of spiritual growth that helped me discern what was true for me and what were distortions that no longer served me well.
Tomorrow, I will assess in the next 18 years of my life how, with much water and fertilizer, I've bloomed into the person I am today.
To be continued……
not sure i totally understand "unity teachings" but they seem to have brought a peace and contentment to your life, which in this family, is refreshing ;)
ReplyDeletei'm glad you're doing well, writing and taking care of yourself...i appreciate getting this glimpse into your psyche...i feel like i know you a bit better now...its good to hear how you've grown...keep blogging!