I like to believe that I live an egoless life. But unfortunately it sometimes rears its ugly head. This morning was one of those moments. I allowed my ego to focus on the future and create anxiety in me. Luckily, once I was aware of what was happening, I knew what I needed to do. Climb back into the wheelbarrow and let go.
So what does the wheelbarrow have to do with ego and anxiety? It comes from a story I once heard narrated by a very entertaining and inspiring priest. He described how he went to a circus with a friend and in the middle of the performance an acrobat appeared, and walked across a very high wire. Then he rode a unicycle across it before bringing out a wheelbarrow and pushing it across the wire. Soon a pretty assistant appeared and proceeded to sit in the wheelbarrow. The priest said to his friend, "Do you believe he can push her across that wire?" The friend said, "Yes. Intellectually I believe it, but if I trusted him and had true faith in him, I would get into that wheelbarrow myself."
The message I heard that day, five years ago, has had a profound effect on me. For I can believe in God, I can even believe in letting go and letting God direct my life, but until I actually get into the wheelbarrow and let go, all I have is intellectual belief. True faith is in getting in and letting God push. So today, I let go of my ego and trust that God, in all Her omnipotence, knows the direction that is best for me. All I have to do is step into the wheelbarrow and let go, then sit back, relax and enjoy the ride.
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